I put this article on FB. It’s gutsy, frank, and moving. Now let’s view it here for all us sextysomethings.
http://www.salon.com/2015/03/12/what_i_learned_from_a_male_sex_surrogate/
Did that headline grab you? It did me. Who secretly hasn’t wondered what it might be like:
- To have sex with an expert?
- Whose job is to increase your pleasure capability both as giver and receiver?
- Who teaches you what sex and intimacy can mean to you when you get beyond your scripted thinking?
- Who actually reports to your therapist so that a team you trust is working on your behalf?
It’s the perfect recipe to face the vulnerability and fear that stops so many people from enjoying their sexuality and sensuality. These are gifts that change as we age.
Think of sex as a red pillow in a sunroom. It stood out, dominated, fired up the room when first placed there. In time it faded; still lovely, but not popping. It is now more rose than red. Inviting and warm, it is less vivid a shade. And like the rose, there are some thorns: biological, physiological, and emotional changes that can stab at what used to flow or unfold (or maybe didn’t).
Maybe we need to reeducate ourselves when we are more rose than red. Passion that sizzled is now on a lower flame. Touch for ten minutes, as the surrogate did, is a sensual warm-up (suggestion: back scratches can melt you to butter. The spine has so many nerve endings responsive to different pressures). Hugs and kisses and pats feel so good. Whatever works, enjoy the sensation.
Solo? Don’t give up on yourself. Sex toys work wonders and are online. There are other feel-goodoptions. When I was single and without a lover, I took manicures, pedicures, massages all for the sake of touch. Less thrilling, for sure, but connecting and warming.
What do you think, feel, relate to about this honest, bare-it-all article? The author is a fearful warrior in search of a solution to better her life. Aren’t we all?
Sextysomething 